So, I was in CVS today, and as we all know, they play some variant of MUZAK in the store. So, I’m walking around, and I never really listen to the music specifically. I paid for my items, and as I was walking out, I was humming the tune below with no real idea of the words. I barely knew the music. Wouldn’t you know though, IT WAS A JONAS BROTHERS SONG!
Ugh, the New Kids have nothing to worry about. Their legacy is safe.
That’s right folks, this is a two-for-one deal, in more ways than one.
Because as we all know, I love athletes who have multiple talents - Shaquille O’Neal as a Rapper, Harris Barton as a Rabbi, Steve Young as a Lawyer, and of course, Jose Canseco as an MMA fighter - well, apparently the big news out of Big D is the following:
“Leonard Davis, Marc Colombo and Cory Procter have signed a recording contract as part of a heavy metal band called Free Reign. Their debut album for Australia’s Riot Entertainment will be released this fall.”
Our music expert, Avi McHates-You, reports that “Free Reign’s initial albums won’t compare to such luminaries and their freshman outings as Def Leppard’s “On Through the Night”, Boston’s eponymous effort (”Boston”), Guns & Roses’ “Appetite for Destruction” and who could forget Nelson’s “After the Rain” (an album that caused comparisons to the Beatles - not kidding), but its entirely possible that you’ll be seeing this in a store and in an online venue near you.”
Thanks for that misery, Avi.
This is awesome. I read an article about it happening in Ghana and thought to myself, there is no reason this shouldn’t work over here. The most telling line of this article, “Everyone knows their cellphone number. Not everyone knows their credit card number…”
This has highly dangerous implications for parents of kids with cell phones, but then again, so too do KIDS HAVING CELL PHONES with unlimited minutes. I don’t have kids and I don’t know what it takes to keep them in check, but as a concept, this doesn’t need to be turned on by default for everyone, and it probably won’t be ready soon. I just love the idea. Credit cards…without the cards.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
A word from the President of the RMTJ Snarkiness Association, Snarky McHates-You, looking to respond to an article in the newspaper today:
“My Fellow Readers,
“You are no more important than anyone else at your meeting. If you are playing with your Blackberry or iPhone during a meeting, you are simply being rude.
“No, I do not care that you are a legend in your own mind. No, I do not care that you are the most important person in the room. No, I do not care that you have important emails that must be responded to. If you are in a meeting, why do you think your EMAIL is much more important? If it was truly that important, don’t you think there would be someone asking for your time, followed by a SWAT team, followed by an invasion force looking for you?
“If anything, while smartphones have given us easier access to information, they have also given us yet another reason to be more insulting and rude. You aren’t that important. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you that, but you’re not. Your level of importance is only outpaced by your level of rudeness. When someone is talking to you, listen to them. When someone is asking you a question, answer them promptly. Otherwise, you are demeaning them, and if that was your intention from the beginning, then you should not have taken the meeting in the first place.
“Thank you, and to all CEOs who think they are more important than someone else, you’re not. Stop now. You’re just continuing a vicious cycle of stereotypes about you being overpaid and out of touch.
“Sincerely,
Snarky Mc-Hates You”
Sadly, neither of us won (damn you, weather!). This year’s Open played exactly how you’d expect for two days and exactly the opposite during the other two.
For those of you who don’t know, the US Open is one of the most difficult tournaments to play. The initial cut of rough is not terrible. The second cut makes you cry. And the third is inappropriately named and barely ever cut at all! The weeds this year might as well have found some rhyme that ended with “high as my eye.” Plus, the swirling winds and rain meant no one who went out during those times had even remotely a good score on those first two days.
That being said, the second two days played EXACTLY as a US Open normally does. Even is the best you can hope for and guys who score below par are made to feel as if they are orders of magnitude ahead rather than the usual two to three strokes. Making a comeback is like Rocky just going the distance with Apollo Creed (ADRIANNE!).
So, we move along. Next Golf bet, the Open Championship (British Open). Waterboy, it’s you and me! Bring it!
Bram and I decided to join a local CSA farm this summer to get some fresh local produce. CSA stands for community supported agriculture, and you pay upfront for a share of the farm’s harvest over the growing season. We got our first share last Tuesday and will get one every week for the next 20 weeks. We did this for a number of reasons, mostly to enjoy the benefits of local produce, but also to support a local farmer, and hopefully by extension, the Michigan economy. We picked this particular CSA based on good reviews and a convenient local pick-up spot, less than 1 mile from our house.
In our first week we got: 6 heads of lettuce of various types, 1 lb. of strawberries, and 1 bunch of garlic scapes. It wasn’t a huge amount, but it’s early here in Michigan and we’ve had a chilly and wet spring. The farmers have told us that we will be getting much more in the next few weeks. The strawberries were amazing, and gone in about 2 days. They were much smaller than the ones we get at the grocery store, but also much sweeter. They’re quite fragile though, so we had to eat them quickly. Fortunately, that was no problem. We’ve eaten a ton of salad this week with all that lettuce and we’re down to two heads left.
The garlic scapes were new for us. They are the stem and flower bud of the garlic plant, which is cut off so that the growing energy goes into growing the bulb itself. The scapes are like a milder garlic. We sauteed them and put them into a fritatta with spinach and parmesan. They were great and we are hoping to get more next week!
That’s right, there basically is nothing I won’t make a steak bet on. Last week, I made a steak bet ON MY STEAK being prepared well. Needless to say, I was right. It was awesome. Today’s steak bet, because it is golf season - and as we do every year - is on the US Open. Who will win and who will lose. For the Masters this year we changed it up. Waterboy and I did a pick ‘em five-on-five bet. It worked so well, we’re trying it again. So, here are the rules:
1.) If any of our players aren’t in the tournament, we get to pick new players after day 1.
2.) I am down 3 steaks, and this one is worth 1 whole, glorious, unadultered steak.
Now, onto the teams. In Jishman’s corner:
1.) Tiger Woods
2.) Geoff Ogilvy
3.) Jim Furyk
4.) Padraig Harrington
5.) Angel Cabrera
In Waterboy’s pathetic excuse for a team:
1.) Phil Mickleson
2.) Henrick Stenson
3.) Paul casey
4.) Kenny Perry
5.) Retief Goosen
Let the games begin! FORE!
Yup, I did it. I finally made gyros….and they were glorious! Yes, that’s right. The gyros in Alton Brown’s recipe were awesome! Vegetarians were telling me just how good this recipe was, and all I did was follow the instructions. Yup, it was easy…although, it did require buying marjoram. If you don’t have any and want some, drop me an email - I have plenty!
On the other hand, I think what really made this meal for me was the faux-gurt. Yup, that’s right - faux yogurt. Soy Yogurt to be specific. When you can’t have meat and milk, have meat and fake food. To those of us who are lactose intolerant, I am sorry, but faux-gurt is not real food. It looked like browning mayonnaise and tasted like congealed…well, let’s not say it. It did not initially look like real yogurt - nor should it. It is soy yogurt. I was simply hoping for something close to the real thing just so we could fake our way through gyros night…and it worked!
Yup, you read that right. I enjoyed it, but know this before you read any further - the tzatziki you make will not taste anything like the tzatziki you’re used to. In fact, it might not taste like much of anything you’re used to. We ended up increasing the amount of cucumber, garlic and vinegar…and it barely made a difference.
On the other hand, the gyro meat (made in a loaf pan) was awesome. Yup, unlike the shawarma massacre of 2009, this actually tasted like the food of memory (and given that of my guests, I was the only one who had ever had it - I was the only one who could comment). I used pita, faux-gurt, cucumber, tomatoes, lettuce, and sriracha (or chiles in vinegar and spices) to give it a little kick. Yup, it was just great.
Trust me, if you like this kind of street food and can’t find a “man in the can” in your city who sells it, make it at home. It’s totally worth it (but if you can, use real yogurt. I promise it will taste better).
Don’t get excited, you can’t even buy a stick of gum with that…
Imagine, if you will, an Internet without sarcastic people. What a sad place it would be. Videos like this would be missing from my life.
Oh right, and this came to us from our roving reporter, Snarky McHates-You.
1.) Dave Checketts, former president of the NY Knicks when they traded away Ewing, when they Scott Layden, when they went to the playoffs and then promptly lost because Charles Smith couldn’t make a friggin’ layup (no, I’m not bitter), and all around screwup, has announced he has interest in buying the St. Louis Rams. Now, given that he also, in the past, has screwed formerly great franchises like the Knicks, Rangers and St. Louis Blues (yes, I am talking about Hockey), don’t you think his next move after buying the Rams should be to hire Isaiah Thomas? Or he could hire Herm Edwards just so people can say “WE PLAY…TO WIN…THE GAME!”
2.) I still think there’s legs in a reality show starring Isaiah Thomas, where he runs a different industry/institution/company into the ground each week or season. For example: Zeke runs the former number 1 fast food chain, McDonald’s, and all his employees quit, and they lose out to Arby’s. Or, Zeke runs Virgin Airlines and changes the name to Harrassment Air. Thoughts?
3.) Our parents generation talks about never forgetting where they were when Kennedy was shot. Do you remember where you were when Iron Mike Tyson uttered the words, “Bring me Lenox Lewis, I want to eat his children!”? How about when Tyson bit off Holyfield’s ear? Seriously, those two might beat when Iverson went on a twenty minute, child-like tirade about “Practice”.
So, I was reading Twitter, when I came across this note:
IncMagazineHow do you think the Kindle-manufacturer’s purchase of E Ink will effect the e-reader industry?
Now, loyal readers of this blog know I have been a fan of E-Ink’s technology for quite some time. In fact, when the first Kindle came out (they are now on versions 2 and 3 respectively), I was very interested in how it would change my reading habits. In fact, I was convinced publishers were going to show up by the boatload to get in on this action. Sure, it would cut into their profits, but it also would even more substantially cut their costs.
(more…)
1.) Damn, Denver. You couldn’t beat LA. I hate the Lakers. Go Magic!
2.) I spent two hours last night hunting for parking. Grrr. This is why I don’t want a car in the city.
3.) Octomom. Lands. Deal. Dear World, I hate you. Seriously, what possible reason is there for this!? Her story is easy. She desperately needed attention. She is going to get it. For fifteen minutes. Then, we’re going to hate her too. And the kids? Yeah, they’re going to be more screwed up than Britney Spears.
4.) Reality TV - Wipeout? America’s Got Talent? I am just as sick of it as I was before. Possibly moreso. People ask why I watch more shows on DVD, Food Network or online. Well ask no longer. It’s because I hate the major networks. They spoon feed us the most mind numbing garbage. Scripted TV is lacking and the networks are attempting to give it to the lowest common denominator. I’m sorry. I just don’t care anymore. NBC? Your shows are crap. ABC? Could you find something I care less about? (Answer: Only if it was on NBC). Fox? I stopped watching House, so that should tell you how much I don’t care about your shows. CBS? What, are we on CSI: Holmdel now?!
I hate the world.
I have to thank my Aunt Marie for sending this to me…. this is funny; I hope you enjoy!
Why I Had to Fire my Secretary
Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, ‘Happy Birthday!’, and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ‘Happy Birthday.’
I thought… Well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids… They will remember! My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn’t say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
Last week, I was wrong. My record is now 15 for 23.
Round 1: Personal Pick
Adam Lambert — Mad World….
Kris Allen — Ain’t No Sunshine…
Round 1 goes to Kris.
